Merry Christmas, Darling
by SpyKid18
Summary: Rachel's "Merry Christmas, Darling" gets a different audience than she anticipated.  ST BERRY


**A/N: This Glee hiatus is going to be a longggg one. Expect lots of coping in the form of fanfiction from me :)**

Merry Christmas, Darling

_Merry Christmas, Darling_

The show must go on, and go on it did. Melancholy marking each step, she moved through the stage, thinking that it had been home to her distraught solos too often in the past few weeks. And Finn was the reason.

She loved him, really she did, but why did he have to make everything so difficult? Why couldn't he have told her about Santana earlier? Why couldn't he forgive her for something he had done himself countless times? Did he not remember kissing her while he was with Quinn? Had he forgotten all the hidden touches and hooded glances? It appeared he had, that much was evident by his staunch refusal to hear her out.

The song finished, and she turned to tell the band they could leave when a lone clap was heard from the audience. She stood stock-still, feeling her lower lip tremble when she noticed Jesse St James sitting in the third row. He went to stand and she burst into tears.

"Are you okay?" a band member asked, clutching his bass tightly. She could tell he didn't like displays of emotion and she was sure her characteristically ugly crying face was not helping. She stepped back sharply and cried, "Just leave! Go! All of you!"

The band scurried away like a mice at the sound of footfalls and she strode over to the piano, dropping down onto the seat where Brad always sat as she buried her face into her waiting hands. She could hear him approach and sobbed into her hands, "I told you to leave!"

"You are nearly choking-crying, Rachel. I'm not leaving."

"What do you care?" she tossed off angrily, looking up at him with red puffy eyes. Tears dribbled down her face, rolling and dripping along the apple-curve of her cheeks. She saw the furrow of his eyebrows, the telling clench of his jaw, and she hissed, "Don't act like you care. You never cared." Her face crumpled again as she began to sob. "No one cares!"

"What happened to you?" he asked softly, dropping on one knee in front of her. "Because even you aren't normally this dramatic."

"_You_ happened to me," she accused. "You're all the same. You make a girl care. You make them _love_ you." She sniffed once and corrected, "Well, think they love you. But then you just drop them! The girl makes one mistake and even though you've made hundreds, thousands of mistakes, you won't forgive her!"

"What did Finn do?" Jesse asked knowingly.

The sound of his name coming from Jesse's lips was like sand paper on a burn and she told him, "Nothing happened. I'm not telling you anything, and what are you even doing here? You shouldn't be here." She rose suddenly, nearly knocking him down as she went on, "I shouldn't-we shouldn't be here." She spun around to look at the disarray of the stage and her lips dipped into a frown. "And look at the stage. All this mess for nothing. Now I need to clean it up."

"I'll help."

"No," she said, shaking her head. "You are leaving. I don't want to see you. I don't want to see any boys. Not now, not ever, I am done. I am done trying to make things right because no matter what I do it never works." She continued talking as she went off stage to grab the broom. Her voice carried, despite it being thick with tears. "Where does he get off being so high and mighty? He broke up with me last year so that he could pursue his _inner rock star_. It's ridiculous. Completely ridiculous and totally unfair!"

"Did he seriously say that?"

Ignoring him she continued, "And I would have taken him right back. I would have but-" she stopped, looking at him for the first time during her rant. "But I met you."

They stood there for a moment on the stage, neither of them speaking but her eyes locked with his. Abruptly she looked away and turned her back to him as she began to sweep up the fake snow.

"You really shouldn't be here," she repeated.

"Do you want me to leave?"

"Of course I want you to leave. Did you not hear what I have been saying for the past five minutes?"

"Most of it seemed to be about Finn," he explained. "And the rest of your argument was really a matter of principle, no specifics."

She exhaled loudly and then said, "Fine, grab the dust bin from stage left."

He grinned slightly. "Gladly."

He returned with the dust bin and followed Rachel as she swept the white snow into a neat pile. She looked over at him and grudgingly asked, "So, why are you back?"

"Winter break."

"No, I mean here."

"Would you hit me with the broom if I said I wanted to see you?"

"Yes."

"Fine, then I came here to not see you."

She pressed her lips into a frown, feeling tears flood her eyes again as she thought to herself that everything really did manage to happen to her at once. First Finn and now this, her life was a running joke. "I hate you. I hate this-the holidays-everything."

"Don't be like that," he said gently, crouching down to the floor and telling her, "Alright, sweep it into the bin."

"First Finn rejects me again and then you come and try to do whatever you're doing." She shook her head and glumly added, "I don't even know what you're doing."

"I'm trying to guide your broom into this bin," he said, glancing up at her. "Your aim-not the best."

She looked down, noticing that she was completely missing the bin, and she corrected her movements, sweeping it gracefully in. "There."

"Much better," he retorted with a grin.

She swept the rest of the snow into the dust bin and told him, "This doesn't change anything you, know. Your coming here like this-it wont change a thing."

"I know," he answered. "But I figured I'd give it a try. It's the holidays, after all."

He stood up again, moving to the garbage can and dumping in the fake snow. He turned and she was standing beside one of the fake trees, leaning a bit on the broom. She was looking over at him dubiously, her eyebrows furrowed. He knew she didn't trust him and he couldn't really blame her. He still had hope, though.

"Well, I'd better go," Jesse said. "You clearly are not in a talking mood and I have Christmas shopping to complete."

"Good bye," she said, voice prim and proper.

He dipped his head down in farewell and then made his way out of the theater. He stopped at the door, though, and stole on last look at her on that stage. She was standing dead center, looking at him with her hands clasped demurely behind her back. With one last grin he said, "Merry Christmas, darling."

**A/N: Short and fluffy. Hope you enjoyed it!**


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